Antigua Guatemala Restaurant Guide | Best Illegal Mezcal in Guatemala

Illegal Mezcal cafe no se antigua gautemala

Cafe No Se is Antigua Guatemala’s answer to the dark establishment your daddy warned you to stay away from.  It has the air of a true desperado redoubt.  It’s okay for men and women of  amateur or part time frayed morals as well.

Here you can ask for Illegal Mezcal and insist on a dirty glass to show off to better effect your macho fearlessness.  In any case, the staff will look after you even if you didn’t have a crappy childhood, a sketchy youth or enjoy a generally felonious history.

I was in this bar in Antigua Guatemala with her 20-something son when real gunfire exploded on the street a few years back.  The resourceful Cafe No Se staff calmly shut the thick front doors and ushered their clientele to the back of their storied bar until it was determined the coast was clear.   Smooth.

The stories are grand all of them, but we’ll stick to just one more for the purposes of this post. The bar boasts 30 sorts of tequilas and mescals, yeah, the one with the worm.  It’s not illegal here at all, but the branding gives tippling shots of this Mexican favorite a really naughty edge.

As anyone who travels in Guatemala knows, it’s hard to get beer on tap.  In this way, Cafe No Se also distinguishes itself by maintaining Gallo and Moza beers in draught incarnations.  Live music most nights.  No dancing please, it might lead to card playing. Cafe No Se is located at 1a Avenida IIc in Antigua Guatemala.

Guatemala Restaurant Guide | The best View Cafe Sky in Antigua Guatemala

The best View is Cafe Sky in Antigua Guatemala
We need to say a few more things about Cafe Sky in Antigua Guatemala.  A word of warning though before you go.  Bring a sweater if you think you’ll be there after 4 p.m., regardless of the temperature when you start off in the afternoon.  Also, you will likely not hear a word of Spanish, except from the staff.

Having sad that, I highly recommend this landmark Antigua Guatemala. On the third floor, you will find a vista that is hard to top.  The best perch is the bar stools that face out westerly, directly onto the city. Here you have a panoramic view of the town and its environs. Order yourself up a gin and tonic, a michalada  or good old Gallo beer.

My advice is to avoid the margaritas since the bar mix is on the paint-thinner side and stay away from the tool and dye wine list.  Note to potential visitors:  the price of drinks at this bar includes a gratuity and they seem to have factored in the relative cost of the view and pass it on to greedy-eyed sightseers.  It’s okay, the extra Quetzales aren’t killing and really the view is worth it.

Looking straight out, that is west, you have an excellent view of the three volcanoes.  With any luck Fuego will be sending up smoke rings for its adoring audience. So to your right (north) is the Cerro de la Cruz, and depending on the time of day, you may or may not be able to see the huge cross on the green terraced land.  It depends on the slant of the sun.

Swivel your tourist noggin to the back of Cafe Sky and you will behold a beautiful chunk of the Central Highlands that cradle part of the city or send torrents of water infused with mud down on us all, depending on the season.  You are however safe as in your mother’s arms way up top of the blue building that holds the Cafe Sky nest.

To the east, that is to your left if you’re still looking at the city and if you are still sober enough to maintain a vertical position, you will see the San Francisco Church where lie the remains of Hermano Pedro, Central America‘s only bone fide saint.  The dome on the church is poised magic.

Best time to go is between 4:30 and 6 p.m. to get the whole sunset experience.
Cafe Sky is located at 1a Avenida Sur #15, Antigua Guatemala.

Antigua Guatemala Restaurant Guide | Best Restaurant and Sports Bar

Antigua Guatemala Restaurant Guide continue to offer their list of best views available from bars and restaurants in Antigua Guatemala.

The view from La Canoa Restaurant and Sports Bar seems deceptively mild at first glance.  But once your eyes adjust and start to do the 360-degree visual parade, you will be pleased you climbed to the 2nd floor patio.

The true glory of this view is the almost mathematical placement of the Volcan Agua, the long-defunct volcano that dominates the southern vista of Antigua Guatemala.  If you look in it’s direction you will be awe-struck, simply no choice.

Standing at 12,356 ft (3766 meters), this giant stands guard over the town and there is nowhere else in the city where there’s insight into its central strength like the top of La Canoa.  Like most of the incredible views in the city, it is best seen at sunset.   I dare even the most jaded among you to yawn at this spectacle, especially during the magic vista gazing time between 4 and 6 p.m.

Okay, now for the not so great news.  Just try not to look towards the northeast (remember Agua is directly south from you).  Or put another way, if Agua is at your back and you imagine a clock face to guide your swiveling head, then don’t look at 10 after 10, unless you love the sight of razor wire in the evening.  I’m sure there are some of you out there.

But for the rest of us, it’s easy just to divert your tourist neck over to 10 to 10 and there you will see a faint glimpse of the top of the San Augustin Church over on 7a Avendida in Antigua Guatemala.  It’s a bit like looking at the Venus de Milo: though she and the church are missing some very substantial matter, the remainder still lets you imagine what the whole must have been.  The beautiful lines are still there, even at the chimney level from which you will take in its 400-year-old splendor, earthquake lobotomy and all.

As for the food at La Canoa, well it’s your basic bar grub and it’s perfectly acceptable within the limits of this form.  The view not withstanding, the true draw of La Canoa is the sports bar.  Here on a cold night, you can count on the northern demons from Kanukistahn, explaining the game of hockey to the uninitiated innocents at the bar.  You’ve been encouraged in these lines or warned, depending on your point of view.

La Canoa Restaurant and Sports Bar is located at 5a Calle Poniente #6, Antigua Guatemala.